Ivan's Diary
by vengefulcat
Summary: Ivan's guidance counsellor forces him to keep a diary for a month... But a lot changes in a month, right? Rated for implied situations and mild language. Set in an AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Well, I'm not really sure where this came from. It will probably end up being a multi-chaptered fic, though.

Nothing much else to say, except that it is set in a college AU, and there will be multiple pairings (only implied though, nothing explicit). So… yeah. Feel free to tell me what you think~

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><p><strong>Day 1<strong>

Ivan is not happy, _da_? I am being forced to write down my everyday thoughts when I have much better things to do, such as flushing Alfred's head down a toilet. There is only one reason I agreed to this, and that is because the other option was group therapy with my crazy sister Natalia, and that odd boy whose name I do not know. Kolkolkol… Someone is going to pay for this…

_**Later**_

I am hiding under my bed. Natalia somehow got into the boys' dorm and it is only a matter of time before she finds my bedroom. I would climb out of the window, but the last time I tried that I got stuck…

"Brother!" Oh dear God, she's in my bedroom. OK, stay calm Vanya… Be quiet, maybe she won't hear you…

CLANG! …Damn you, metal bed frame. Damn you to Hell. "Come out, brother! We're going to get married~!"

"Noooooo~! Go away go away go away go awaaaaaaaaayyy!" I shrieked in terror, trying to wriggle my way free. I don't know what exactly I planned to do once I got up. Run away? Scream a bit more? Hit her…? No, I don't hit girls. Ever. Apart from Feliks, but he's not a real girl so it's alright.

I managed to get up, and was instantly hugged/attacked by Natalia. Kolkolkol… If she wasn't my sister I would knock her out…

"Let go of me, _da_?" I glared at her over my shoulder. Most people would have run away, but for some unknown reason my little sister is completely fearless. I say little sister; actually, I'm twenty and she is nineteen.

We both go to Hetalia International University, one of the most prestigious universities in the world. It's situated in America, but don't let that put you off. Anyway, most of the students here are foreign exchange students. It is a way for us to improve our English. There is a fair percentage of Brits, Americans and Canadians here, too. But enough about that, I can hear someone knocking on the door. A saviour, perhaps?

"Who is it~?" I ask cheerfully, hoping Natalia didn't lock the door.

"Like, open up, Braginski! I've totally got something to show you! Why is your door locked? Your door is like, never locked…" Feliks. Not ideal, but he'll do, I suppose.

"Leave him alone! He's miiiiiiiiiine!" Natalia, this time. She has a grip on my shoulders that would be painful if I wasn't wearing my winter coat. I am not sure why she does this to me. Perhaps she thinks that if she constantly bothers me, I will one day fall in love with her?

I can assure you that this is not the case. I have already set my sights on someone, and it is most certainly not Natalia. "Please don't leave, Feliks! Get help! Get a locksmith, get Yao, get _anyone~_!"

"Like, whatevs… Toris~!" After that I heard voices, and then Toris and Feliks trying to knock the door down. It sounded as though they were making a mess of it…

"What the bloody Hell is going on?" Ah, that was my neighbour, Arthur. He and Alfred, a loud American, sleep in the room next door to the one I share with Yao. I sometimes hear odd noises coming from that room, but they looked uncomfortable when I asked what they were doing. They are very loud neighbours. I am glad that the Italians on the other side do not make that much noise.

Natalia has let go of my shoulders. "Too many people know I am here. I will be back for you another day, brother, and then we can run away and get married, married, _married…_" She carried on chanting that while she climbed through my window and ran away. Wait, how come she can fit, and I can't? That makes me angry. I may start locking my window. And my door.

Unfortunately, Feliks and Toris hadn't heard Natalia leaving. In summary, they well and truly broke my door. I am starting to think that they should start a destruction business. I shall tell Yao that joke later; I am sure he would find it funny.

_**Later**_

While Yao and I wait for a new door to be fitted to our room, all of our possessions have been moved to Feliks and Toris' room. Once again, Ivan is not happy.

"I realise it is not ideal, Mr. Braginski," the site manager told me when I started kolkolkol-ing. He is an idiot. I have decided that I do not like him.

"Like, no shit, Sherlock!" Feliks jumped in. I glared at him. "We don't, like, want _those _two in our room. Right, Toris?"

"Um…" Toris replied, blushing and staring at the floor. I had a quick look at the floor, too. It is a nice shade of red~

"Nevertheless, you will have to stay here tonight. Have a good sleep~!" And so the idiot left. I doubt that I am going to be able to sleep. According to Eduard, who sleeps in the room next door to Toris and Feliks', they make odd noises as well.

About a week ago, I finally I asked him what kind of noises he meant. "Um, you know…" He went all red in the face and looked at me funny. I looked at him back, going a bit cross-eyed by accident.

"No, I do not." I replied, staring him down. He went even redder.

"Are you being deliberately awkward, or do you honestly not know what I'm trying to tell you?"

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean~"

"Oh dear Lord…" Eduard sighed, resting his head in his hands. "Never mind, then..." He then left some money to pay for his latté (we were in the campus coffee shop) and ran off, muttering something about being late for something involving Matthias.

"Hellooooooo~! Braginski! You still with us, man?" I was brought back to the present by an obnoxious Pole snapping his fingers in my face and yelling in my ear. I would hit him for that, but I know from past experience that it does more bad than good.

"Yes, I am afraid I zoned out. I apologize~" I told him cheerfully. It was then that I noticed that Yao hadn't said anything. That made me sad. I like it when Yao speaks~

"Hey, Yao-Yao! Don't you have anything to say?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"Not really." He looked a bit impatient, and kept looking at his watch and frowning.

"You like, going somewhere, Yao?" Feliks asked.

At first I didn't think that Yao was going to answer. Finally, he said "yes. I've got about fifteen minutes left before I have to start getting ready, aru."

"Where are you going?" I asked him, but I don't think he heard me, because he didn't say anything. I decided to go and see if Kiku, Yao's Japanese cousin, knew anything.

I knocked on Kiku and Yong-Soo's door about two minutes later. There was no answer, so I knocked harder. "Kiku!" I shouted.

"What do _you _want, da ze?" Yong-Soo asked, yanking the door open. He looked as if he had been in the middle of studying; he had a pair of glasses on that I'd never seen him wear before. When he saw me looking, he quickly took them off and put them in his pocket.

"I just wanted to know if Kiku was here~" I smiled at him.

"He just left, da ze."

"Why do you always say 'da ze'?" I tilted my head at him curiously.

"Why not?"

"Fair enough. _Do svidaniya_~!" I waved at him before walking away. I heard him mutter "_annyeong_," right before he closed the door.

_**Later**_

It is now 11:30pm. Feliks and Toris are asleep, and they have not been making any noises. I think Eduard might have lied to me. I shall have to speak to him about that tomorrow.

Yao is still not back. He left at 8pm; I thought he would be back by now. I refuse to go to sleep until he gets back. I have to know that he is alright.

"Like, why? Yao's quite a tough guy, Braginski. He can totally look after himself!" Is what Feliks said when I voiced these concerns. "Besides, he took his wok with him. I, like, saw him."

"I don't really know…" I confessed. "I just feel like I should be protecting him, but I am not sure why. It is confusing, _da_?"

"Totally." Feliks nodded. "I'm confused just listening to you." And then he rolled over and fell asleep. I am starting to think that Feliks has a very short attention span. Or perhaps he tired himself out somehow. Perhaps it is something to do with those noises.

Toris stayed awake a bit longer with me, though. Toris is very nice. I like Toris. He eventually fell asleep while reading, though. The book is still on his face. I would remove it; but it doesn't seem to be causing him trouble. Anyway, it looks quite amusing, and I need something to entertain me and keep me awake.

Oh, this is boring. Never mind what I wrote earlier; I'm going to sleep. If Yao isn't back by the time I wake up, I am going on a rampage to save him. It is official. _Spokoi__̆__noi__̆__ nochi~_

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><p><strong>AN:** Translations:

_Do svidaniya _– 'goodbye' in Russian.

_Annyeong – _'bye' in Korean.

_Spokoi__̆__noi__̆__ nochi – _'goodnight' in Russian.

I do not claim to be fluent in either of these languages – in fact, I don't speak either. So if there are any mistakes in these phrases, please feel free to correct me.

So… Thoughts? :)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **And here's chapter two. I was bored, and yeah… xD

Enjoy~!

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><p><strong>Day 2<strong>

It is now 9:30am. Yao is not back yet. I would go on a rampage, but I have to choose a new door for our room first. If Yao is not back by lunchtime, _then _I will go on a rampage. No one will be spared. NO ONE.

…I meant from questioning. Seriously. I'm not holding a water pipe behind my back or anything. Or maybe I am.

"Yo, Braginski! Ain't'ya worried about Yao?" Feliks asked, during breakfast. His funny little accent combined with his mouth being full of cereal made it difficult to understand what he'd said, but Toris translated.

"Indeed I am," I said solemnly, scowling at my toast. I'd all but forgotten about Yao until Feliks mentioned him just then.

"Don't be, Ivan. I doubt anyone in their right mind would harm Yao. You're quite attached to the bloke, aren't you?" Arthur said gently.

"Ohonhonhon, 'as _mon ami _Ivan discovered the art of _l'amour_?" Francis appeared behind me with a boiled egg, and placed a hand on my shoulder. I am not entirely sure whether I like him or not; he talks about a lot of things that I don't understand, but he seems to be a nice person.

"Sod off, Frenchie!" Arthur shouted, attempting to shoo Francis away. "People are trying to eat, for goodness sake!"

Francis looked a bit hurt. I think he likes Arthur, but Arthur doesn't like him. "What do you think I was planning on doing wiz 'zis egg?"

"Considering your past exploits, quite a lot of things. None of which I am going to mention at the breakfast table. I, unlike some, am a gentlemen." Arthur frowned at Francis. I do not know what he meant by exploits and I do not want to know. Francis sat down next to Antonio, his Spanish roommate, and after that breakfast was somewhat peaceful.

Unlike right now. The common room is filled with people who don't have class right now – such as me – and it is very loud. Francis and Antonio are watching TV and making odd remarks with their German friend, Gilbert, while Gilbert's brother looks on disapprovingly. Those Italians that sleep in the room next door to mine are talking with… Kiku! I rushed over to see if he knew anything about Yao.

"Yao-san? No, I haven't seen him since lunch yesterday. Is there something wrong, Ivan-san?" Kiku looked very concerned. Both of the Italians look scared. I don't know why.

"He went out last night and he has not come back yet." I think I was starting to look worried, because the younger of the Italians – Feliciano, I think his name is – smiled at me and patted my shoulder.

"I hope he's OK, Ivan~!" That was odd. I'd never realised how nice Feliciano was; I'd only ever seen him when he was scared, or taking naked siestas.

"Thank-you. So do I." I smiled back at him, and his smile got even wider. His eyes did not appear to be open. Maybe he's tired… Anyway, I saw his brother scowling at me, but when I turned my eyes to him he stopped. It was all very odd. They appear to be exact opposites…

I saw that idiotic site-manager guy coming in with a big book, and followed him. I thought I'd scare him a bit to get revenge for having to sleep in Feliks and Toris' room last night. I hadn't known this beforehand; but Feliks snores. Maybe that's what Eduard meant by noises… But why would that make him embarrassed? I suppose it's a mystery I'll have to solve…

I did an excellent job of scaring the site manager, by the way. I waited until he was standing in the doorway of my room, and then walked right up behind him as quietly as I could – he didn't hear me – and stood with my lips really close to his ear. Then, I started kolkolkol-ing.

Honestly, if it were possible to die of fright, he would have done. As it happens, he dropped the book on his foot and now I have to pay for a cast, but it was worth it. Even that sulky Italian found it funny, and I thought that Feliciano was going to wet himself.

I picked a very nice door for our room. It is like the old one, but has dark wood instead of light wood. It stands out quite a lot, but I like that. It will make it easier to find my way to my room when I'm drunk.

Yao isn't back yet. WHERE IS HE? I need to give him a key for our new door, otherwise he'll never get in… What if he didn't sleep? He's always so angry when he's tired… That's it. I don't have any classes until 1pm, so I've got about three hours to question everyone in the dorms.

_**Later**_

Yao isn't back. Kiku, Vash, Ludwig, Gilbert, Arthur, Alfred, Toris, Feliks, Roderich, Francis and Antonio all have alibis:

-Kiku was with someone called Elizaveta, who I do not know, and they were following Arthur and Alfred around. Kiku says that at no point did Arthur or Alfred speak with or even see Yao, either.

-Vash was visiting his little sister in Switzerland and got back at about 2am, so he was tired and angry and tried to shoot me, but I saw a plane ticket so I know he was telling the truth.

-Ludwig was studying in his and Gilbert's room, and the footage from the cameras that I managed to blackmail out of the security guard backs up his claim.

-Gilbert, Francis and Antonio were in a local nightclub. I asked for proof and was presented with three receipts and a sleeping girl who was in Francis's bed. I daren't ask why…

-Roderich had a piano lesson – as the teacher, not the student. His piano student, a small boy called Peter, backed up his claim.

Clearly it was the Italians. They looked scared, after all, and one of them was scowling. I got his name from Kiku – Lovino. I knocked on the door, but no one answered. I tried again, harder, while yelling both their names. Still no answer. I tried the handle, but it was locked. They're clearly guilty; not answering the door, when I can quite clearly hear their radio through the door. So, what could I do but bash the door open with my pipe?

_**Later**_

In summary, I broke their door. That's two doors broken in two days, and both have something to do with me.

Also, they weren't actually in there. Feliciano left the radio on because he's careless… I think I should maybe stop invading people's personal spaces.

Oh, and I'm paying for the door. And my water pipe has been confiscated and I STILL CAN'T FIND YAO. All that for nothing. To make matters worse, my guidance counsellor now thinks that I have something against doors.

"I told you, it was _Feliks _and _Toris _the first time around!" I cried, burying my face in my hands. The guidance counsellor, a Mr. Smith, started tutting. Kolkolkol…

"Are you sure you didn't do anything to encourage them?"

"Yes! They're just idiots! Believe me…"

"But you clearly meant to destroy the Vargases door, didn't you?" I didn't answer, because it was clearly true. "It doesn't look good for your mental health, Ivan, you have to admit."

"How long do I have to write this diary for?" I interrupted, trying to change the subject away from my mental health, because it takes more time than I have left to analyse _that_ particular topic. "And does it matter that I've just been writing what's happened and a few of my thoughts, and a couple of memories?"

"Of course not; you can write what ever you want. The idea is to get your anger out in a way that doesn't… You know… Destroy doors." Mr. Smith looked a bit uncomfortable, as if he didn't know what he was talking about.

"But how long for? You're not reading it!" I clutched the diary to my chest protectively, glaring at him. I stopped when I realised that I must look pretty ridiculous.

"I don't want to read it. Believe me, I really, really don't. And I should think that a month would be sufficient. Longer if you'd like." After that, I smiled at him and left, all my questions answered. Ivan is happy now. He'd be much happier if his roommate came back, though~

_**Later**_

Guess what! It is just after dinner, and Yao is back! I hugged him when I saw him, which caused the table to tip over because we were sitting down at opposite sides of the table. My scarf has bits of pasta on it now… At least it's not the scarf that big sister Katyusha made for me when I was five. I only wear that in the winter, because it's really warm.

I am going to see Francis at half-past seven. Eduard must have told him about the noises and that I do not know what they are, because Francis has told me that he will explain everything to me. I'm quite excited, in a way. It will be a chance to get to know Francis a bit better, and I get to learn stuff, too. I told Feliks and he just sniggered at me.

"Like, how have you got to the age of twenty without knowing about the birds and the bees? Braginski, I'm like, two years younger than you and I know more!" Is what he said. I am puzzled by this. Clearly, Feliks keeps birds and bees in his room. I am sure that this is against the rules…

I mentioned this to Yao. He muttered something about not wanting to be Francis and wandered off somewhere. I still don't know where he was last night. I'll ask when I'm alone with him; he might not want to talk about it when Feliks and Toris are around.

Anyway, I just knocked on Francis's door. It was opened by Lovino, who immediately scowled at me. I gave him my nicest smile. "Good evening, is Francis in?"

"You broke our door, bastard!" He tried to close the door, but Feliciano pulled him away.

"Don't be mean, Lovino! I'm sure he's a nice guy really~!" Feliciano smiled at me. "Let's go have some pastaaaaaaa~!" The two Italians ran off; Lovino looked a lot happier at the mention of having pasta. I am glad.

"_Bonjour, _Ivan," Francis purred, "sorry about that; 'zose two 'ave 'ad to stay 'ere tonight, and _mon cher _Lovi doesn't like me very much… Come in, come in!"

I walked into Francis's room. It wasn't as cluttered as the one I was currently sleeping in, which has furniture haphazardly crammed in, with clothes scattered all over the floor and someone's bed blocking part of the bathroom door. Instead, it looked as if it had just been tidied up. Suspicious if you ask me, but no one seems to want to.

"Where's Antonio?" I ask, finding it polite to enquire about Francis's roommate before he gives me a biology lesson.

"With Gilbert, 'e 'eez failing German." Francis replied, gesturing for me to sit down on one of the beds, before sitting on another one. "Right, let us start from 'ze beginning. Do you know where babies come from?"

"Not really…" I admitted. No one has ever told me about things like that; I suppose everyone expected that I'd find out sooner or later. But how can I find out when no one wants to tell me? Finally, I might be getting some answers.

"_Oh mon Dieu..._"Francis sighed.

_**Later**_

It is 10pm. I am in bed, because there is nothing else better to do; I paid Eduard to do my maths homework, Yao is in the shower and I think Feliks and Toris might be in the common room.

Francis did an excellent job, I have to say. The only way he could have all that knowledge is if he has a lot of experience… That explains why he's never in class, I suppose…

So now I know what Feliks and Toris are doing~ I didn't really expect that, I thought they were just friends. It explains Feliks's skirts, though. He must be the girl in that relationship. Francis explained that to me, too. I think I might need to bleach my brain… It was all a bit graphic. Now I cannot get images out of my head, and I'd rather like to go to sleep.

Oh well. I'll just think about vodka; that always helps. Goodnight!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **So… Just to warn you, there is Estonia/China and Russia/Sweden in this chapter. I'm not entirely sure if those are actual pairings, but they're about the only somewhat-credible ones that would have worked for this. I apologize for any mind-scaring… Also, just in case anyone gets confused, Emil is the human name I use for Iceland :)

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><p><strong>Day 3 <strong>

The images are finally fading from my mind… I think. I can't quite look Alfred and Arthur or Feliks and Toris in the eye, though. And Yao still won't tell me where he was, or why it took him so long to get back. It must be very serious, we usually tell each other these things…

Oh well, I'm sure he'll tell me eventually~ I might go and speak to Eduard, he usually has something intelligent to say.

_**Later**_

Kolkolkolkolkol… Ivan is very angry. Not only does Eduard know where Yao was, but he won't tell me. Also, Alfred decided that it would be absolutely fine (and not a complete invasion of my privacy) to read this diary.

He didn't get too far, thankfully – he was just reading about Feliks and Toris breaking my door before I discovered him and wrapped Mr. Pipe #2 around his neck. He is now sitting in the medical room having it removed, and I am sitting outside the medical room waiting for an apology.

No, really. He read my diary, so it's his fault if I tried to strangle him with plumbing, _da_?

_**Later**_

So Alfred is now pipe-less and grumpy, and I have had my new pipe confiscated. Clearly, this means that I will have to go dismantle yet another toilet in order to acquire another one. Going unarmed in this place is simply not an option – Vash and Ludwig have guns, Roderich has a riding crop, Yao has a wok and Natalia carries knives. Yes, plural. *shudder*

Alfred reminded me of something – or rather, someone – earlier. He pointed out that, in my first diary entry, I said that I liked someone, but I didn't say who. He's been pestering me about it ever since. He's even got Feliks onto it, which is a problem in itself because Feliks finds everything out eventually. Thankfully, Yao and I are back in our own room, so if I start locking the door _and _the window and leaving the diary in the room when I go out, no one will read it, right?

Of course, Yao might find the diary and try to read it, but he usually respects my privacy with these kinds of things, so I may as well just write it, _da_?

It's Berwald Oxenstierna. He's very tall and very blond and doesn't say much, but he is very handsome. He hangs around with a nice Danish boy who seems to be constantly smiling, and also a small Finnish boy who I believe is friends with Eduard, and they're usually dragging a sulky Norwegian along with them.

Speaking of sulky Norwegians – I can see Emil; Eduard's roommate, who according to Toris is said sulky Norwegian's brother. I shall attempt to infiltrate their group via this boy, _da_?

_**Later**_

It did not go well. Vash turned up halfway through our conversation about winters and tried to shoot Emil for 'corrupting' his sister Lily. I do not see what the problem is, frankly – Emil is 18, Lily is 17, and all they've been doing is texting each other since they met during one of the visitor days at the university.

Vash seems to be very overprotective, but I'm quite jealous of his close relationship with his sister. Both of my sisters are very weird. My little sister Natalia is sadistic and madly in love with me and carries knives, and my big sister Katyusha cries a lot. So does my cousin, Raivis. Maybe it runs in the family.

On a completely unrelated note, Feliks says that I should name you. His exact words were "I, like, think you should totally, like, give a name to that diary-journal-thing you've been doing. It's totes going to be with you for a month, so you should, like, give it a name."

I'm going to call you 'Friend' for the time being. Or perhaps 'Comrade'. Just until I think of something else.

By the way, if you're wondering why Vash _didn't _shoot Emil in the end, Roderich saved the day. He told us that we were morons and to get out of his way, and somehow distracted Vash in the process.

It was a bit odd – one moment Vash was about to pull the trigger (although I know for a fact there's nothing in his gun; I took the liberty of confiscating his bullets the other day and as far as I know he hasn't been able to retrieve them or buy more) – and the next moment he was blushing and stepping out of Roderich's way, and hastily apologizing for being a moron. I do not think I have ever seen Vash blush before. He looks very pretty… But not in that way!

It is dinnertime soon. I know this because Francis is complaining about the quality of American food very loudly, and Alfred and Arthur are telling him that French food is far worse, and Feliciano is asking if there will be pasta (he pronounced it pastaaaaaaaaaa~, though) and Berwald left his room. He only does that for class and dinner, he doesn't seem very sociable.

Anyway, I'm going to try and sit next to Berwald at dinner. It might be difficult and I might have to hit someone with Mr. Pipe #3 (taken from Eduard's toilet) but I'll do it!

_**Later**_

I did manage to sit next to Berwald. I had to knock over Mathias – the happy Dane – to do so, but it went pretty well~

He asked me to "pass th' k'tch'p, Iv'n," which I think is a good sign. I've never heard him speak before… He doesn't seem to use many vowels.

Anyway, I still haven't found out where Yao was. All I know is that for some reason, Emil knows about it, too. I might have to interrogate him. Feliks asked why I care so much, and to be honest I'm not really sure. Yao is back, after all, and he isn't hurt. I suppose I'm just curious. And I'm a bit hurt that he won't tell me…

I got invited to go drinking with Francis, Antonio and Gilbert. They heard that I like vodka and they said that there is a nightclub down the road that makes very good vodka, and they want me to go with them tonight. I have accepted. It will be fun, _da_?

_**Later**_

It is very loud in here. There are a lot of people dancing around and everyone is shouting because no one can hear anything over the music. Also, I am a bit sweaty because it is crowded and I am wearing my winter coat and scarf and there aren't any windows. On the plus side, Berwald and Mathias are in the corner drinking beer.

Francis just came up to me. He is very drunk, and I think he has forgotten who I am because he just said "onhonhonhon, you are very beautiful, _mon cher~_" and then kissed my hand and now he has passed out. Is this how you are supposed to attract someone's attention if you like them? I might try it on Berwald~

_**Later**_

I cannot pronounce the 'onhonhonhon' properly, so I just kissed Berwald's hand. It didn't go down very well. Right now, Antonio, Gilbert, unconscious-Francis and I are all fleeing the nightclub because none of us want an axe in our head. Apparently, Berwald is dating someone already, and Mathias feels like defending his honour.

For some reason, I do not feel sad, even though I am sitting in the back of a taxi with an unconscious Frenchman and an oblivious Spaniard and the love of my life just rejected me, and there is a crazed axe-maniac chasing the taxi.

The only emotion currently running through my mind? It's not so much an emotion as a thought – Feliks is going to love this.

_**Later**_

It is very late, much later than I normally go to bed, because something unexpected happened when I got back to my room. Normally, when I get back late, Yao is sitting up in bed reading and glances at the clock before scowling at me and asking "what time do you call this, aru?"

However, today, when I walked into our room I was greeted by a much more unusual sight. Yao. And Eduard. Kissing. On Yao's bed. Of course, I chased Eduard out with a pipe, but when I think about it everything makes sense. Yao got back late, Eduard knew where he had been, for some reason Emil knew, and no one would tell me anything. Clearly, they were on a date.

Well, that was odd. I would go and speak to Eduard about it, but I'm angry with him for some reason. Plus, he's the reason I'm so confused. And I don't want to tell Feliks, because he will just laugh at me for getting chased out of a nightclub.

I just want to go to sleep. Goodnight, Comrade.

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><p><strong>AN: **So… did you enjoy it? Not enjoy it? Tell me, please~


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **And here is Chapter 4~ There's a bit of GerIta in this one, and more randomness, of course. :) Enjoy~

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><p><strong>Day 4<strong>

I have World History today. That is good, because I like learning about wars because my country always wins, but it is also bad because I have to sit next to Feliks. I mean, I do _like_Feliks, for some reason, but he's really annoying sometimes. When we first started having classes together at the start of this year, I tried to avoid him at all costs, but now I like to think that we are friends~

On the subject of supposed 'friends', Yao and Eduard are now avoiding _me _at all costs. Eduard seems to think that I am going to beat him up. He is probably right.

I hope that Yao and I don't fall out over this… He's been my roommate for two years now. I don't want to lose him. Maybe I should apologise for chasing Eduard out of our bedroom… But then again, I don't want to do that, either. When did it all get so complicated?

Ah… I'm almost late for World History! See you later, Comrade~!

_**Later**_

Feliks seems to think that my problems are absolutely hilarious. Firstly, when I told him that I kissed Berwald's hand, he choked on his pink bubblegum and spat it out, and I think it may be in my hair. Then, when I told him about getting chased by Mathias with an axe, he fell off his chair with laughter. The professor looked quite alarmed, and Ludwig gave us a dirty look.

Ludwig's dirty looks are very scary. I think that he should hire himself out as a scary person. I am not sure if that is a real profession, but I am sure that he would be able to pull it off.

Yao still isn't speaking to me, and Eduard (who usually sits on the other side of me in World History) moved so that he could sit next to Gilbert instead. That was insulting. Since when is Gilbert's company better than mine?

Also, more problems have come to my attention. Sadiq and Heracles, who sit in front of me in World History and behind me in Maths, have started arguing again. This happens every so often – they argue almost non-stop for a few weeks, have a very big fight, avoid each other's presence for about a week, and then they're back to normal for about a month, and then the whole cycle starts again. It is very confusing.

This time, it is apparently serious enough that Heracles is talking about moving out of his and Sadiq's room. I don't think he will do it, though. He's too lazy.

_**Later**_

On the plus side: I got the pink bubblegum out of my hair. There is a bit of a bald patch, but Katyusha sent me a hat (I think she might be a bit psychic) and that should cover it for a while.

On the minus side: I may or may not have lost my temper in Maths and wrapped Mr. Pipe #3 around Eduard's neck. Quite ironic really, seeing as I stole it from his toilet, but that is beside the point according to Yao. Now, because I have 'damaged' his boyfriend, Yao doesn't want to be in the same room as me – even at night – and he has requested a room transfer. Nooooo~!

On the neutral side: Heracles has also requested a room transfer. It doesn't directly affect me, but I wish him luck. He seems like a nice guy, and I like his cat~

_**Later**_

Guess what? I was wrong about Heracles's room transfer not directly affecting me. As it turns out, because not many people apply for room transfers (there aren't many students here, which is also why I have a class with Feliks even though he is two years below me), the site manager was able to sort it out really quickly. And now Heracles is my roommate. I am not sure how I feel about that.

Well, I'm sad about Yao leaving, but there's no talking to him when he's in a mood like this. I'll let him sulk for a bit, and then he'll come back, I hope. But Heracles is… Interesting, to say the least. His cat likes me, which is good. The cat is called Mr. Snuffles, though, which is bad. It isn't really a very manly name, plus, I think the cat may be a girl. He has settled in very well. Heracles, I mean, not the cat.

The cat has too, though. He/she/it is currently sitting on my head while I write this. It kind of hurts, but at least it hides my bald patch.

Feliks has already been 'round to see how my new roommate and I are getting along. Of course, this automatically means that Heracles now knows about Berwald and Mathias and the axe and the hand-kissing and drunken-Francis and the fact that I am sexually inept, because Feliks could not keep a secret if his life depended on it.

Thankfully, Heracles has promised to keep it all a secret, although he did laugh a bit at my sexual ineptness. According to Sadiq, and most of the other guys in the dorm, Heracles is a bit of a pervert. Well, he can't be worse than Francis, plus if he tries anything, I have a new pipe. Mr. Pipe #4, stolen from Toris and Feliks's sink (I already stole the pipe from their toilet).

Speaking of Toris, he has also been to visit. He had some interesting information – apparently, Sadiq and Yao aren't getting along very well.

Heh heh heh… I am not sure why, but this makes me very happy~!

_**Later**_

Kolkolkol… I have got loads of Chemistry homework. This makes Ivan angry. Ivan does not like Chemistry, or homework. Ivan does not know why he is talking in the third person. Ivan is going to stop now.

I tried to get Francis to help me, because he sits next to me in Chemistry, but he doesn't understand it either. He said that he would be able to help if it was Biology, and then he started sniggering for some reason. Arthur walked past and tutted at him.

I also told Ludwig about my idea for his future career. He glared at me.

"Why are you glaring at me? I thought that you might like that idea~" I asked. He continued to glare at me without saying anything. Then, Feliciano walked up to us.

"Luddy-kins~!" He announced, before attempting to jump into Ludwig's arms. For some reason, Ludwig wasn't happy about this. I would have been happy, no one has nicknames for me. Apart from Big Sister Katyusha, who calls me 'Little Vanya', but that's really embarrassing. I said all of this aloud, and Ludwig scowled at me. He seriously needs to learn to smile.

"'Luddy-kins' is _far _more embarrassing than 'Little Vanya'." He said, but I don't think it is. I have changed my mind about Ludwig. He isn't scary, just grumpy. It's quite amusing, really. Feliciano likes him, though, for some reason. It's nice to have friends~

Lovino walked past, just as Ludwig gave in and picked Feliciano up before he started crying. "Vodka-bastard. Potato-bastard. _Fratello._" He addressed each of us in turn, before spotting Antonio, who ran up to him shouting something about a '_poco __tomate_', whatever that means. I have decided that I don't want to know. Getting too involved in other people's lives only ends badly, I have noticed, so I am not going to do it anymore. Starting today.

_**Later**_

I may have broken my vow about not getting too involved in other people's lives. It wasn't really my fault, though. It's like this:

Francis knocked on my door today after dinner, clearly upset. When he came in, Heracles just looked up and said "_γεια__, _Francis," as if it was a completely normal occurrence. On a side note, 'Mr.' Snuffles is now wearing a pink bow, but that is irrelevant.

Anyway, Francis spent most of his visit complaining about Arthur and Alfred. It was very entertaining, in a sad way, because he is in love with Arthur and he doesn't like Alfred. I don't like Alfred, either, so that is something we have in common, along with drinking and not being good at Chemistry.

Francis also said that he thinks he may have gotten a girl pregnant. I asked him who she was, but he just said "I don't want to say 'er name, in case you know 'er, but she goes to 'zis _université_."

As Heracles said, "that narrows it down. Not."

Hehe, I like my new roommate~ I can sense that we will become very good friends.

_**Later**_

Since this morning, I have learnt a number of things about Heracles:

-He is seriously obsessed with cats.

-He is very bad at Biology.

-He may or may not be a pervert.

-He talks to himself. In Greek.

-He is also very bad at Chemistry.

-He has nice hair~

I am not sure why, but that seemed like a good way to end my diary entry for today. I'll probably regret it, especially if Feliks or Heracles reads that, but oh well~

Goodnight~!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Translations:

_Fratello_= 'brother' in Italian

_Poco __tomate_= 'little tomato' in Spanish

_γεια = _'hi' in Greek

So… What did you think~? :)


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **So this took way longer to update than it should have. I really don't have an excuse for that, other than that I _have _been quite busy and this has been unedited and I've been working on requests for my '100 things [insert nation here] can't do' series. I do have Chapter Six nearly done, though, and I'm thinking I might start writing out all the chapters before I upload them so that I can update more regularly. Anyway, sorry for the long wait, I'll try to make sure it doesn't happen again.

* * *

><p><strong>Day 5<strong>

That cat has got to go. When I woke up this morning, the damn thing was sleeping on my head, and for a horrible moment I thought my head was vibrating because of the cat snoring. I was about to go and search 'vibrating head' in the symptoms checker on the internet, but then the cat fell off and the vibrating stopped. I complained to Heracles about it, but he refuses to do anything whatsoever.

In other news, Feliks is being _really_ annoying. Telling him about Berwald was definitely a big mistake. At breakfast today, he wouldn't stop nudging me and smirking and so on every time Berwald did anything, and he even… No, you know what? I'll just write the whole thing down…

"Check it out, Braginski! He likes eggs!"

"Your point being…?" I asked. I had to repeat myself because my mouth was full of toast.

"You like eggs!"

"And…?"

"So it like, means you totally have something in common with him!" Feliks finished enthusiastically.

"Bloody hell, if that's all you've got in common with the bloody bloke, you're bloody screwed," Arthur pointed out.

"Rock out, dudes! Artie's totally right!" Alfred jumped in. I gave him a _look _and he shut up. It is not natural for someone to be so alert so early in the morning. I could barely keep my eyes open.

"Iv'n?" Oh dear God, it's Berwald… Act natural, act natural…

"Yes~" I said cheerfully. He gave me an odd look. Maybe I overdid the cheerfulness? Yes, that must be it.

"F'liks said y' wanted t' talk t' me?"

Kolkolkol… "Did he now?"

"Hm."

"I'll be back in a moment…" Of course, that sneaky little Pole had run off. After negotiating my way through the cafeteria (it was _not _easy to get through there – there were tons of people just standing there, with trays, and people talking and Francis tried to get me to go into the closet with him, but I know better because of what happened the last time so I declined) I found myself in the common room. Still no sign of him; he's faster than he looks.

"Kesesese… Shit, it's Ivan!" Was the first thing I heard when I turned the corner, pipe in hand, still kolkolkol-ing. It was, of course, Gilbert. He's an odd one, that boy. I'm honestly not sure what to think of him. He insists that he isn't scared of me, but I know he is. I only know four people who aren't scared of me – my big sister Katyusha, my little sister Natalia (I'm scared of her, rather than the other way around), Feliks (who is pretty much unscareable, if that's even a word) and Yao.

Ah, my little Yao. I miss him. I still don't know quite _why _I hit Eduard, all I know is that the very mention of the two of them makes me sad. It is strange. But that's beside the point, _da_?

The point is, Feliks just embarrassed me, then took off. I didn't see him again until World History, and then I couldn't really hit him because we were sitting in the front row and the professor would definitely have had something to say. And four acts of violence in the space of five days is a bit excessive, even for me. I don't want them to call Katyusha; she can be quite frightening.

I probably wouldn't have hit him anyway, to be completely honest with you. I don't know why, but it seems very wrong to punch someone in a miniskirt. Oh dear, that didn't quite sound right. _He _was in a miniskirt, not me. Maybe he wears them so that he won't get punched? It would explain a lot. Like how he goes through life offending so many people and somehow remains unscathed.

_**Later**_

I had to sit next to Eduard in maths. That was probably the most awkward hour of my life. The entire time, Yao glared at me from across the room. It was quite upsetting if I'm honest; I'm not used to Yao being nasty to me. Then again, I _did _break Eduard's nose almost irreparably.

Kiku seems to want to be my friend now that I don't speak to Yao anymore. Before, he used to avoid me; but then again he avoids Yao as well. The only reason the two of them know anything about each other's activities is because of Yong-Soo, who seems to force them to be friends. He's… odd, to say the least.

I also found out that there will be a visitors' day in a couple of days' time, for the friends and family of the students. Apparently they will be staying on campus for a couple of days. I am very excited; Katyusha has already called me to say that she is coming to visit, and bringing her new boyfriend and my little cousin Raivis. She is also bringing me a new scarf, which is good because General Winter will be on his way soon, _da_?

Vash's sister Lily will also be visiting. She sounds nice. Emil has been told to stay away from her, though, but somehow I don't think he will. And Francis's cousins are coming, and also his stepsister. I have heard stories about them; I kind of want to meet them. Most of all I want to see Hans's hair. Apparently it defies logic.

"He eez tall and blond, you would like 'im, honhonhon," Francis told me when I asked for more information. "And what eez zis sister of yours like?"

"She has a boyfriend, and if you touch her you will require a new cranium, _da_?" I replied menacingly, showing Francis Mr. Pipe #4. Said Frenchman promptly went a bit pale and excused himself. It made Arthur laugh.

I was serious, though. I have seen girls that Francis has 'dated', and I do not want him near either of my sisters. Not that Natalia would look twice at him. He is still freaked out about this girl who is seemingly pregnant because of his antics, and still won't say who she is. I mean, really, why make such a fuss and not say who she is? I want to know.

Heracles says that I shouldn't get involved. Now I see why Sadiq fights with him so much. It is maddening, living with someone who is so apathetic about everything. I would hit him, but he is too pretty to hit. Plus, he lives in a hot country, and I would quite like to go and visit someday. The chances of that happening in the future are much higher if I don't beat him up just yet. The cat has got to go, though. He/she (I have given up trying to guess the gender of it) has eaten one of my socks. How it isn't dead I have no idea. Animals are so strange.

_**Later**_

'Mr.' Snuffles is officially a genius. The guidance counsellor came in today to check that me and Heracles are getting on okay and the cat threw up on his feet. I guess the guy who said that animals are intuitive was onto something. I think maybe we should keep the cat.

On a side note, Yao came in a few minutes ago to look for his underpants. It was a bit awkward. The conversation went something like this:

"Um, hi Ivan, aru…"

"Hello, Yao~" I said happily, opening the door to let him in. It may sound a bit daft, but I was sort of hoping that he was there to say that he wanted to move back in. That's not why, though.

"I think I… um…" He began to go red, and cleared his throat "left my favourite pair of underpants in here when I, you know, switched rooms."

"Oh, the ones with the Chinese flag on them!" Looking back, it may seem a bit perverted to know what another guy's favourite underpants are. He did once tell me, though, so he really shouldn't have been so surprised that I knew.

Well, anyway, he gave me a weird look and then left with his underwear. At least he didn't glare at me, like in maths.

After Yao had gone, Heracles kept looking at me. Not glaring, not really staring, just looking. Mr. Snuffles was sitting on his lap, looking too. It was a bit unnerving, but I just put it down to his being Greek.

Eventually, he finally spoke. "Ivan, is there something you want to tell me about you and Yao?"

"Like what?" I was confused. Why would he ask that?

"Oh, nothing… Just that you guys always seemed really close, and stuff. And you haven't smiled since he left."

I haven't… smiled? Since Yao left? "Oh."

_**Later**_

Heracles is asleep, and it's only three in the afternoon. I swear, all he ever does is sleep. And I can't help thinking about what he said earlier… I tried to wake him up to question him, but he seems to be a very heavy sleeper. I would think he was dead, but he snores every so often so I think he's okay, _da_?

In the end, I decided to go and see Feliks. I mean, sure, his advice is often not the best, but Eduard isn't speaking to me anymore and I don't want to have to tell Francis about the underwear thing. He may jump to some very wrong conclusions. And I can't really ask Yao because he's the reason I need advice, and if I tell Kiku anything it will end up finding its way back to Yao, one way or another. So, I went to knock on Feliks and Toris' door.

Feliks wasn't in, though, so I told Toris about it all.

"Have I really not smiled since Yao left?" I asked.

"To be honest, Ivan, I haven't seen you that much since Yao left. But no, you don't seem too happy. It's only been one day though, give it time."

"_Da,_ I suppose you're right." I tried to smile. Toris looked a bit scared, though, so I stopped.

"I saw Natalia earlier," He told me. I think I must have started shivering, because he put a blanket around my shoulders. "It's okay, she actually didn't ask about you, for once." I relaxed a bit. "In fact, she seemed a bit rattled about something else. She wouldn't tell me what, though. I expect it's about Katyusha visiting – they don't get on, do they?"

They don't. It is very sad. I love them both – even when Natalia scares me – and I wish they would get along, but Natalia will not co-operate. "_Nyet_," I said softly. "I'm still quite excited, though. Katyusha is bringing me a new scarf."

"Well, let's hope it doesn't have bunnies on it like last time, eh?" He smiled.

"_Da. _Thanks, Toris." I got up to leave, putting the blanket back on Feliks's bed, but Toris grabbed my shoulder.

"Hey, Ivan. Anytime you want to talk, I'm here. Just remember that, okay?" He smiled at me again. I patted his head. I don't know why, it just seemed like a good idea at the time.

I nodded, not entirely sure of what to say. "_Do svidaniya_," I said quietly, stepping out of his room and into the noisy common room.

Oh dear. The professor just caught me writing. Hehehe.

_**Later**_

I got a warning for writing in my diary during class. I don't really care that much; it could have been worse. At least nothing got confiscated this time, but that's probably only because the guidance counsellor has told everyone not to interfere with my diary because it is my emotional outlet and stops me from being violent and blah blah blah…

Alright, he didn't really say blah blah blah. But that is what I heard.

Anyway, I think he's a bit wrong. Since I started writing in this diary, I actually think I've been more violent than usual, if that's possible. Maybe it's one of those it-gets-worse-before-it-gets-better things? Well, I'm going to keep writing regardless.

Dinnertime was an odd event, by the way. Yao had no choice but to sit next to me, and things were like normal for a bit – he actually talked to me, and laughed at a couple of things I said – but then Eduard walked past and he stopped. It was as if Eduard's presence reminded Yao that he is supposed to be avoiding me at all costs. Very odd.

On a random side-note, Mr. Snuffles keeps stealing my clothes and sleeping on them. Or chewing big holes in them. I wonder where I can get a lockable wardrobe…

_**Later**_

I made enquiries about a lockable wardrobe. By that, I mean that I asked Kiku.

"Well, I heard that Berwald-san's father manages the local IKEA. Maybe you should ask him, Ivan-san?" Was his reply.

"I… don't think that's a good idea…" Earlier today, I simply _looked _at Berwald, and Mathias held up his axe menacingly. Not that I was scared; on a good day I could probably snap the stupid little thing in half.

"Why not?"

"…It's just not." And so, I now have nothing to do. I asked Heracles what he does when he has nothing to do. He responded by snoring loudly in my ear.

Maybe he has a point. Bedtime~!


End file.
